Oh Jesus I hear you knocking. I feel you always. No matter what I do, you are with me. My mind cannot comprehend all that you have done for me. Do I take it all for granted? Do I deserve all of this? Does anyone?

Lord, please hear my cry for understanding. I want to understand what it means. I want to teach my flesh to live it. I fear you. Though I don't always lend my hand to good things.

I think there is a difference from believing and understanding. Does believing mean that I accept it without delay? That I like a child understand it? Am I meant to understand it? Would I live my life differently if I did?

Father, you know me better than anyone. That my whole life I've only prayed for understanding and to live my life by my understanding. Yet I still feel empty. Have I tried to hard to understand and not enough on living?

You are the creator of all things and eternal glory forever. I give myself up for you. You are everything that is good and the light of the world. I see it and my hope is that through me others may see it too.